i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it because I queefed?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
