currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
