return my video game
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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