someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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