he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize