I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
