Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
