she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize