I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She even gives head with a lisp.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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