she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
