this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
