I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
