This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
