very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize