windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
