3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
