YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize