My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
