You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
