If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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