but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize