remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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