Im at strip club and am horny
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
