I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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