@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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