My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
