Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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