I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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