You're my little dorito
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
