That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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