I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
