I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
