So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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