Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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