im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
