i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im holly from the hills drunk
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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