dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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