i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Drake has all the answers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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