I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
