no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
