They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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