You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
