ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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