He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
