Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
