that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
