My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
