Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
