I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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