oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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