the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish you could order shots online.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
