At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
