Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
