im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
