she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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