I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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