I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
