So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
