$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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