You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
