Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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