I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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