Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
