Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
