my phone needs a breathalizer
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Randomize