He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
