I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
