She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
