Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize