Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
