Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
